If You're Gonna Do the Crime, uh... Drive Away.

Thursday, Paris Hilton was involved in a hit and run accident. Granted, I'm making more out of this than it probably deserves, but still. It's Paris, and she's dumb.

After a full day of shopping, Paris dumps her shit in her SUV, gets in, and chaos ensues. After checking her lipstick, or maybe her nostrils, in the mirror and not putting her seat belt on, she backs right into a parked car and drives away.

The coolest thing about the video (linked above) is how very dumb she looks. She does this shitty bouncy thing, like a kid who is pretending to drive. Jesus, she's surrounded by photographers. Stop being such a simpering idiot.

I would kill to know what went through her head the instant she realized she hit the car. It was probably something along the lines of: "Just how hot do I look right now?" or "Daddy will pay for it, I'm late for my fellatio lesson."