Desperate, For Her Pictures Back...

In a teaser interview for what is sure to become the next big Internet scandal, a waste hauler has confirmed that Marcia Cross is indeed a redhead.

According to Rush & Molloy, the garbage man has found over 200 pictures (many nude) of the Desperate Housewife in her trash, and is meeting with Internet promoters to get the most bang for his buck. Similarly to what happened earlier this year, when the promoter offered to sell Paris Hilton the contents of a storage locker that she had stopped paying for, Ms. Cross is being offered the opportunity to procure her nude images for an undisclosed sum. The sum is based on the fact that the same guy also has found a copy of her tax return from the same trashy source.

This is more upsetting to me than it probably should be. As a guy with a digital camera, I am constantly reminded that I can't use it in the way that God intended, because and I quote... "They might end up on the Internet or something." Listen up guys. It's time to stop trying to get the most cash out of those naked pictures and start doing what's best for society as a whole. No more holding naked celebrities hostage. We need to band together and start a secret network to store all of these images, so they can be free to any creep that wants them.

Someone get Al Gore on the phone...