Ozzy's Poison Pill Paralyzed his Pecker

The wrath of anti-depressants has victimized the prince of darkness.

Apparently the pills that were prescribed following Ozzy Osbourne's 2003 four-wheeler accident have left him limp. The story continues with a visibly refreshed Sharon explaining that the rocker's rock was always in action in the past, and since the prick popping prescription has been in action, he hasn't.

It makes me wonder if that alien controlling Tom Cruise has a point. Maybe anti-depressants are bad. I mean if the only head Ozzy is getting comes from biting it off a bat, then there must be something up. Or not... up.