Hilton Can't Pay the Rent

So poor little Paris Hilton is signing autographs at a promotional event for her new fragrance, (which I'm told smells a lot like night club sweat, weed, and ground up orphan) and some dude wants her to sign a baby picture.

So how did he get this snap of the young 'un? Apparently, Paris put all kinds of stuff including pictures, diaries, and *gasp* videos into a storage facility. When she didn't pay the bill, the owner got ornery, and now is threatening her with the far more lucrative career of opening the cache for the public's eyes only.

This could be way more exciting than King Tut's Tomb or Al Capone's vault. There is evidence in here. The material in this locker could be used to save countless young girls from their impending moral and intellectual vacancy. All we need to do is send Dr. Phil in there first to "research" the stuff, and his book will be the "Don't Raise a Drugged Up Slut" guide for the era.