A Pirate's (Subliminal) Take on 'Pirates'

Normally I waste your precious time blogging about stupid celebrities (Britney Spears) and the dumb crap that they do (Break babies). But right now, I need to throw up (Nicole Ritchie) a blog about something that I am really looking forward to. (Three chicks at once) I am excited about Pirates of the Caribbean.

I haven't seen the movie yet. Unfortunately for me, I have to pour drinks all weekend (Michelle Rodriguez) to the retarded (Paris Hilton) public, though I'm hoping for some time to see it on Sunday.

Johnny Depp's portrayal of Captain Jack is worth the price of admission, I'm sure. His ambiguously gay (Tom Cruise) and high (Lindsay Lohan) take on the the sea captain is absolutely hilarious (Tom Cruise, again).

I really can't wait for it (Three chicks at once).

See, an entire blog that wasn't about snarky gossip.