Golden Globes Round Up.

I'm an awards show loser. I'll admit it. Last night I sat with a couple of my best mates and got a little drunk on Captain Morgan to the soothing sounds of the Golden Globes.

Notable occurences:

• Prince won an award, but wasn't there to accept it. The camera did get a picture of his empty chair, and presenter Justin Timberlake got in a dig by scrunching down really short and accepting the reward on behalf of the little Prince. (Apparently Prince was on record previously saying something along the lines of "whoever is trying to bring sexy back should know that sexy never left." So, turnabout is fair play in the world of effeminate pop stars.)

• Helen Mirren's dress had a big old hole in the back that must have been ripped as she went up to accept her award. More disturbing, the hole in the front... showing lots of old lady cleavage.

• Lots of dudes talking about balls. First, Tom Hanks said "balls" about 50 times, referring to Warren Beatty. A few moments later he admited to fucking Warren Beatty. Unlike when he fucked everyone else in the world who paid $7.50 to see Polar Express. Sasha Baron Cohen also spent about an hour talking about balls and man ass in his speech. But he's British, so it is expected.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger hobbled out on crutches to a mixed-to-cool reception of the left wing Hollywood crowd. He rushed through the award he was giving out. I think it was 'Best BrazillianWax by an Illegal Immigrant' or some shit. Then he ended the show with a lame ass "We'll be bah-ck". Incidentally, the award was not given to anyone who worked on Britney, Lohan, or Paris. It was in fact given to someone who works for Ben Affleck.

All told, it wasn't the best show... But giving Hollywood a lot of booze, and then turning the cameras on never fails to create a moment or two.