Billy Bush is an Idiot.

I give Jeremy Piven some credit for calling out Billy Bush on the Emmy red carpet last night. When Bush was interviewing J-Piv, he just wouldn't let go of questions about celebrity babies. What Ari's Alter-ego has to do with celebrity babies (other than possibly being the father of several non-celeb tots) is beyond me.

Finally Piven laid it out on the line. And this is where he and I disagree. He said,

"You need another job. You have potential as a human being, this may not be right for you."

Billy Bush has potential to be a door stop. That's about it.

'Prison Break' Season Two

Prison Break had its second season premiere last night on FOX. I was hooked on this show last season. It had tension, violence, and just enough humor to keep me onboard. (Not to mention an actor or two that have graced the stage of the theatre that I work at.)

There was certainly alot going on. About halfway through the episode, I was pissed off. I could easily predict every move that was coming. (Especially the red herring storage facility.)

They were redeemed by a shocking scene in which one of the main characters was undeniably killed off. I could sort of see it coming, but they way it happened was quite a suprise.

My only hope is that there is more of the latter this season. I hate predictable TV.

Some Day My Prince Will Come...

Best. Picture. Ever.


The young British princes Harry and William have spent the majority of their lives behind tall walls and guards with funny hats. So it makes sense that when they get out to party, they're gonna live it up.

Everyone in this picture is so delightfully drunk, it almost makes you yearn for the day when you got hammered and made bad decisions like manhandling some waitresses boob for the camera. I call it Tuesday.

To me one of the funniest parts (for there are many) of this picture is that the chick who is having her tit groped looks alot like Prince William in drag. Just look behind her. Prince Fruity Cosmoboy is making the exact same face is Miss Implant McGropedAlot.

If I were the Prince of England, there is no way I would have my hand on top of that woman's breasts. I would have my junk between them.

"In Special Honor of Her Freckled Puss."

Paris' posse is at it again.

Stop. Read that again. It's like one of those email forwards that shows how the brain just assumes crap, and fills in the blanks. Nope. The word is "Posse", as in "gang of friends or criminals". Though it could probably go either way. Of course, so could Paris.

So anyway...

Remember back forever ago, say last month when Brandon Davis was all bloated, drunk, and red-faced walking down the street screaming about how Lindsay Lohan has a "firecrotch", and various other anti-Redhead/anti-Lohan sentiment. Paris giggled like a moron and Brandon ended up in rehab.

Cut to two days ago. Paris, Brandon, and the rest of the clueless crew were at "In and Out Burger" (which I thought was slang for Paris' hoo-ha, and not an actual restaurant) when Team Firecrotch struck again.

This time, the lead offender was Hilton's record producer Scott Storch. According to the group they were out celebrating "Firecrotch Day", which if you were wondering is August 11th. (I'll send you a card next year.) The coup de grace of this rant had to have been when the paparazzo asked if the bright red interior of their car was done especially for Lindsay. Storch replied, "Yes we did, in special honor of her freckled puss."

Witnesses say that Brandon, fresh out of rehab, was seen quietly slinking back to his own car while this diatribe was ongoing. It looks like Team Firecrotch might just burn someone else this time.

Then Again, There Was Anger.

I sat in front of the television screen this morning with goosebumps. Watching the U.S. Secretary for Homeland Security Michael Certoff detail how insane extremists were planning on killing thousands of innoncent people by constructing bombs aboard passenger aircraft made me stir with a range of emotions I rarely feel at the same time.

First, there was awe.
I was amazed that there are people in the world who want to do blind harm to others. It can't be in the name of religion. The masses assembled on aircrafts flying overhead are of all races, religions, and creeds. Why these psychos want to blow up planes is beyond me. But I still have to tremble knowing that there are these people in the world. And you and I are their targets.

Then, there was anger.
Why are we their targets? What have you or I ever done to them? In another time or place we could have been born their brother or sister. We are being persecuted because of where we live, and barely that. These are angry, random acts that are being planned and those who seek to perpetrate them must be hunted, questioned, and killed.

Then, there was sadness.
I am brought to near tears for those who could have been hurt by these madmen. Sadness in that we can never be free from fear that there are those among us that want to do us harm. These aren't robbers or thiefs. These are murderers. They are insane, mass murderers who want to kill us. Why is the world like this?

Then, there was determination.
They have to be stopped. But we cannot stop. These lunatics deal in fear. Their primary objective may be to kill, but their leaders want the other effect... Terror. The economy shutting down, the transportation infrastructure grinding to a halt, people living half lives. They can't win. Book those flights, don't be afraid. We are protected. Don't play into their hands.

Then again, there was anger.

NYC Star Map... Muhahahaha.

Because I am a nosy bastard... I have to use the Al Gore Internets to cull as much useless information as possible about celebrities that interest me.

NY Magazine has been using real estate information, public records, and several little birdeys to locate hundreds of NYC's most elusive celebrity denizens.


Apparently this star map is somewhat controversial, because of the current stalker/paparazzi happy environment. That is a load of horseshit, because any idiot with Google can find this same crap out if they have the inclination.

It is safe to say that the lower west side, in a corner of the village near the piers, is perhaps one of the hottest blocks known to man. Now it's known to ALL men.

(Cue maniacal laughter.)

You can read the NY Magazine article and get the map: here.

J-Love's Getting Back...

I think Jennifer Love Hewitt is incredibly hot. I always have. In my opinion the three most attractive things in the movie Heartbreakers are JLH, The Breakers Hotel, and the end credits.

I was sad to read that little Miss Hewitt may be at the beginning of a dangerous trend. Images snapped of her the other day show a bit of hip girth that makes me want to cry. Just a little bit. Ever so slightly.

For the disclaimer, I am in no position to give anyone shit about their weight. I have to go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, and eat oatmeal two meals a day to prevent myself from Gilbert Grape-rag-on-a-stick style fatness that would ruin my life. Genetics suck.

I love real women so these pictures aren't a deal-breaker for us, Jen. But just be careful, hun. Hollywood is a fickle mistress.

Willis' Entourage Has Drama Too...

A big Hollywood star hires a childhood friend to do a ho-hum job while he lives in his mansion and hangs out with his friends. The friend decides he wants more than that, and turns around and stabs the star in the back.

Sound like a page from HBO's Entourage?

It isn't. This is happening to Bruce Willis right now. Apparently he hired a childhood friend to "organize private family photographs, videotapes, DVDs and films depicting Willis and his family members." When Willis had to fire the friend, the guy struck back.

Apparently, while living in Bruce's house with access to the Willis/Moore multimedia treasure trove, he got the idea to write a book and hang on to some choice pics. It's currently being shopped around to publishers, say sources. The "author" will cease and desist he says, for $100,000 and a new car. Bruce has fought back, filing court papers to stop the ex-friend's extortion.

All I know is that I've already seen Demi Moore naked. I've watched Bruce's movies. Anything I could want to see of him and his family, I have already seen. It does make me wonder what's in there though... Perhaps pictures of him and Lohan in flagrante delecto?

New Horror Movie 'Pulse'-poor.

I am a big fan of Kristen Bell.

She's most often recognized for her titular portrayal of Veronica Mars, however I've been with her since her NYU days and the musical Reefer Madness. Aside from being fantastic at looking good, she's also a terrific singer and quite the actress.

I have been looking forward to the upcoming horror film, Pulse because Kristen's bells are sure to be prominently featured in this her big-budget star turn. Unfortunately, the film may not be as big-budget as I had anticpated.

According to Ms. Bell, producers cut corners on the film, in the critical are of feeding the cast and crew. "The craft service was only peanuts and coffee the entire time. We would bring food for the poor crew," she said.

Oh well, maybe next time.